Nine ladies dancing, they were dancing for me
Nine maids a milking, they were milking just for me
I had Christmas down in Africa
I had Christmas down in Africa
I had Christmas down in Africa (Five golden rings!)
I had Christmas down in Africa (Five golden rings!)
I had Christmas down in Africa
Gonna deck the halls and do the things we never had
Partridge in a big pear tree
Partridge in a big pear tree….
"12 Days of Christmas (Live)" - Straight No Chaser
Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the towns,
Every creature was stirring, especially the cows.
The FPR clothing was hung up with care,
In hopes that His Excellency Paul Kagame soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of shiny Ijanas danced through their heads
Old Man Jonesy stirs and lets out a groan,
He leans over slowly and looks at his phone.
He winces and squints, the words are so bitty
And begrudgingly admits that his vision is shitty.
But it is no matter, for today it is so,
That to the city of Kigali is where he must go.
He rises and stretches and gathers his things,
The speaker plays music and he terribly sings.
One last check of the house, on the bed and the floor
With a lock of the key, he leaves his front door.
On moto! On bus driver! To K-Town we go!
Megan’s boss is to be married, Muzungu faces must show!
The dingy hotel is flooded with light,
The volunteers dress sharply and look quite the sight.
Dresses and button downs, khakis and shoes,
Swaying ever-so-slightly, they sip their cheap booze.
A stop for food and a drink is the collective conception,
Then afterwards straight to the boss’ reception.
Old Man Jonesy is starving, but he knows of his fate,
In Rwanda for an order of food, one always must wait.
Two hours later, a small piece of chicken
Two minutes later he is done with the pickin’.
To the reception now is the group’s destination,
Old Man Jonesy accepts with still hungry resignation.
Sitting all at the table the crew sips their fanta,
Rwandan weddings remind them little of Santa.
There’s finely dressed people and a nicely hung light,
All give a speech, as there is no stage fright.
Traditional dancers then burst onto the scene!
Men without shirts and women with sheen.
Twisting their arms like the horns of a cow,
Rwandans clap softly, volunteers yell “OwOw!”.
The reception then ends, and the group heads on home,
Tomorrow is a big day, because to all it is known -
That Old Man Jonesy has got a big hunch,
The crew will enjoy their big Christmas Brunch.
With crackling excitement he is up before dawn
Too much anticipation for even a yawn.
A taxi ride later and the whole group is there,
With heaping pots of food for everyone to share.
They think its a problem because they have more than seven,
But anything possible in the restaurant called “Heaven”.
There’s meats, and fruits and baked goods galore,
Granola, deserts and smoothies, of that they are sure.
There’s colorful green salads, garnished nicely with a nut,
Elsa sips her drink - it’s so good she yells, “WHAT!?”
Old Man Jonesy sits back, satisfied with his ends,
He thinks to himself he is lucky to have such great friends.
And though Annapolis Maryland is where he’d truly like to be
He is enjoying himself, here beyond the sea.
His belly is full, but a stranger feeling starts to grip
He stops and he thinks and he takes a small sip.
Though he dreamed for weeks of this fancy food pillage,
He wonders what his people are doing back in his village.
Its all well and good to dress and be boujee,
But what’s going on with his little buddy Mugie?
Where’s Cecile and Aimable, Thierry and Gilbert?
Mama Frieda, Eugene, Providance and young Philbert?
It seems to him that only at his site could find,
Other Rwandans that would treat him so kind.
All this running around makes the days feel so long,
Sometimes he feels that back Home is where he belongs.
But it is all no matter, for he will be back in time,
For now, a wonderful lunch with people quite fine.
So bring drinks and more food and more friends and more fun,
We have many more hours in this African Sun!
Later on, we all will continue The Fight.
But for now,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!